The Brothers Comatose

Dear Diary – Spring Tour – Part 3

Dear Tour Diary,

It’s Gio.

We have been enjoying some fairly unheard of R&R mid-tour here at Antelope ranch in the gracious and kind care of Annabel and Lyric.  I’m typing outside, at a table enjoying my panoramic view of snow-capped mountains, sipping espresso, and the breeze is soft and cool.  The snow stopped yesterday (Sunday, if you forgot, tour diary) and the weather has been comical in its 180 degree flip from the ice and snow and cold of earlier days.

The show in Denver Saturday night was sold out, had delicious BBQ, and had the vibe of playing music in a hunting lodge from the 70s.  It was awesome.  The people of the crowd were delightful.

Sunday broke clear and sunny, and we made brunch at Annabel’s.  We feasted!


We had the entire day off, and our new friends, lead by Kelsy, invited us over for dinner.  We lounged, recuperated, read, wrote, climbed, ran, went to town for coffee – the usual indulgences of a day off on tour.

We were all headed to dinner, replete with wine, beer, and whiskey.  Henry graciously offered to drive.  We were all thankful, and imagined a band dynamic where bygones were bygones, affronts were forgiven and water babbled happily under bridges.

What naïveté, tour journal!

The dinner was lovely, the company was delightful, and the evening was great.  We thought only that Henry was being his usual Tour Manager self when he rallied us all out to the van to be driven home.  In our blurry haste, we never thought twice when Henry said we needed gas on the way back.

We were all happily buzzing away in the van, never suspecting a thing when Henry asked Alex for help – to run into the shop and grab a receipt.

Suspecting nothing, Kyle – our trusty sound engineer on this run – offered the already snoozing and snoring Alex to run inside in his stead.  As soon as the van door closed and Henry saw a dimly lit figure headed for the shop…. He peeled out, screaming the tires and van engine down the streets of Boulder, cackling madly of vengeance and justice.

It was a serious shock, tour journal.

It was also a very hectic and bouncy ride – so bouncy that Alex was jostled awake.  And he complained loudly from the backseat.  At the sound of Alex’s voice, Henry screamed, and slammed on the brakes.   The rest of us sprang into action.  I restrained Henry, Ryan restrained Alex, and Ben drove the van back to the gas station to pick up the now furiously angry Kyle.

Ben had to restrain Kyle, and there we were in a weird, 3 person stand-off.  We had to pay the 76 station attendant to drive us back to Antelope Ranch (where Phil was busy stealing Ben’s room, bed, and had locked himself into his pirated accommodations).

Ben nearly kicked down the locked door to his room when we got back, which was tricky, because then Kyle got loose.

It took a lot of beer to get everyone to finally go to sleep and forget – for the evening at least – their grievances.

This morning was another sunny and beautiful Colorado treat.

We spent most of our time trying to clean up after ourselves.  We then loaded up into the van and have been driving for the last 10 hours.  Our destination is the Super 8 in Topeka.

So far we’ve only been putting out small fires in the van.  New rules have been put in place.  We have to use a neutral buddy system anytime we leave the van (to ensure no one else gets left).  We also only give the keys to the driver after 2 different sources have confirmed that all band and crew are in the van.

Additionally, Phil and I are not allowed to throw anything away, and may only ask the newly formed garbage committee to throw things away for us.

There have been several near disasters.  Phil’s fiddle was found placed dangerously behind the rear tires of the van at one stop.  I still think Alex tripped me on the way into the dinner stop restaurant – he claims I didn’t see a bump in the sidewalk.

The plots are still forming – no one is safe, tour journal.  I’m afraid for the long days ahead.

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