The Brothers Comatose


New Video for “These Ways”

We have a new video out today! It was done by our favorite video maker Michael Bonocore at Bonocore Visual Studios and features our terrible skating and dance moves!


We’re A Punk Band… for today, at least.

Hail hail, folks.

We are very excited to release this Punk EP to the world.

Starting last year, The Brothers Comatose made an EP for Halloween release.  The idea is that we dress 4 of our songs up in a different genre.  Last year it was Metal.  This year, a bit less heavy, but no less dear to my heart, we did Punk (more pop punk really, but it really depends on how you’re defining these things, and genre splicing and delineation has never been my strong suit).

The first year it was easy to convince everyone in our string band to make a Metal EP because we had been running a Kickstarter campaign, and I – quite literally – had to make 4 of our songs into Metal Songs.  They didn’t have to be full on, out-and-out attempts to be an actual metal band… but because I – quite literally – want to be in an out-and-out metal band, they were.

And so, through one year of necessity and pure love of metal, a tradition was born.

It’s not a tradition if you only do it once.  So this summer I started my pitch for Halloween Covers EP episode 2: The Pop Punk EP.  This is a natural because it was proven by punk scientists Me First and the Gimme Gimmes that any song with a melody and chord progression becomes better if you make it punk.

The band is, generally, enthusiastic about fun and ridiculous ideas, so this was a shoe-in.  The real rub was in getting a budget from the powers-that-be to hire a drummer and book a day in the studio.  Once this (miraculous) feat was accomplished, the sky was the limit.   I came up with 4 songs and worked up demos – songs that I thought we could re-arrange well for the genre at hand.  Then I hired James Allen – drummer for rad local band One Armed Joey – to track some real drums.  (Last year’s EP had MIDI drums.  A regret I’ll carry with me forever…) We went to White Whale Studios in Santa Rosa where James smashed on drums while I played super loud electric bass  – my music room/home studio is right under the girls’ bedroom.  No drums and super loud electric bass allowed here.

Drums and bass were tracked – hanging like full, lush, ripe musical fruit to blend into a punk-rock smoothie and then … we ended up on a 3 week tour.  Campfire Caravan Part 1.

No problem.  I love smoothies and will not be thwarted from a good smoothie, even if it is only metaphorical.  I brought my portable studio with me – laptop and interface – and Ryan had his trusty LesPaul on the road.  So the guitars got tracked in various backstages across the Northwest.  I mixed and mixed in the van, and had things mostly ready for Ben and Alex to track lead vocals in our brief time at home between tours.

Ryan sent me guitar solos that he did in his home studio (superb, as I’m sure you’ll agree), Ben and Alex came in and shredded some vocal tracks (Alex’s Joey Ramone vibe is off the charts, and Ben’s evil talk-vocals on Tops of the Trees was difficult to track because we were both laughing so hard), I threw down tons of background vox, and other tidily little bits where I thought they would be cool, and – the piece  de resistance –  Jenny (my amazing and stunningly talented wife) stepped in and crushed the lady vocal parts on Morning Time.

Finish it up, tie it with a bow, and send it off to the amazing Jeffrey Norman at Mockingbird Mastering to make it huge and shiny… and we have our EP.  Still warm from the oven, and ready for you to enjoy.

I’m really happy with how it all came out.  I’d never mixed live drums before, so that was a pretty substantial learning curve.  The process of mixing and then mastering is still somewhat shrouded in mystery to me, and so this project – just like last year’s – was nutty in a great way.  Like being thrown into the deep end of the pool… but the pool isn’t really too deep, and it’s filled with delicious Mango LeCroix, so even if you did sink, you could still drink your way out…   I guess, what I mean is, challenging, but without life-and-death consequences.

Hope you enjoy, Happy Halloween, and I can’t wait for next year.

Fires. (Also, we’re on tour?)


Our hometown is burning!!!

It is insane and crazy.  This is Gio writing here  My parents were evacuated two days ago.  The photo above is the hills behind their house.  Firefighters (thanks all you amazing firefighters!!) have been kicking ass and working hard to keep things as safe and hopeful as possible.

My family is fine – as is the town of Petaluma.  That includes the Pacini ancestral home, the Morrison ancestral home (Rancho Relaxo) and Jen and I’s house.

We were running around (before I flew out to meet up with tour) trying to organize kid music/songs/stories at the evacuation shelters, and Jen is still back there working her ass off to keep things going, to keep the kids learning, engaged, hopeful, and creative in this crazy time.

Being out here on tour can feel excruciatingly pointless during this fire…  I keep trying to dig down and pull a meaning out of using time and energy here instead of back home with family, and it is real hard.  But the family at home is hanging tough, we are off for 2 weeks starting Sunday, and I’ll (hopefully, if flights are clear and skies aren’t too smokey) be back on the scene, pen, paper and guitar in hand, partying with displaced kids and families.

In the meantime, I’m out here, and I worked on some tunes in the van to try and do something proactive and productive for my amazing people back home.  Here’s a link to those tunes if you want to check it out.


Please, if you can, find a way to help out Sonoma County.  There are so many people that could use your help.

Take care out there.

Campfire Caravan: Episode 1


We are here, caravanning and campfireing.

I’m in Billings, Montana at a killer coffee shop (massive high-fives to MoAV coffee) which is – blessedly, mercifully, thankfully, right around the corner from the venue.  I’m listening to my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist which I’ve been working with great effort and focus to hone and curate into the cornucopia of heavy, sludgy, doomy, death-y, metal-y offerings it now is.

It’s enough to make one ponder on the ways of the music industry today.  Here I am, in a band, trying to stretch together meager ends that won’t quite meet, wishing there was a way for music to generate more income, and here I am streaming tunes from bands.  Paying pennies on the dollar for the kickass music they’ve made that I enjoy.  And Spotify gets my monthly subscription fee.  Hmm.  Does it even out because I then go to the shows of said bands?  Putting the money more directly in their hands with my concert patronage?  I say no.  It means that the bands have to – somehow – continually create new music for me to consume the moment it comes out, and simultaneously eternally tour so as to pay their bills.  There’s not enough time in a year, and there’s not enough blood in a body to make that work.

What does that have to do with the Campfire Caravan tour?

I don’t know – I’m high on caffeine and typing to an invisible audience.

Pretty stoked for this tour, folks.  We rehearsed last night and it was just so damn fun to hang out with the folks in Mipso and Lil’ Smokies.  I don’t care about the shows so much – just being around these kickass people and players is going to be a beautiful thing.

Hope you can make it out.  I think we’re touring far enough, wide enough, and long enough to eliminate most excuses.  If you want to be a special Super Friend, come to the show and leave me a:

fantasy/sci-fi book recommendation

coffee shop recommendation

metal/hardcore/punk band recommendation

We have a lot of van time to fill, and I’m always hungry and thirsty for all the above.

See you soon.


The Jet Setting in a Minivan Tour

Hey gang.

We’re on tour – currently in Williamstown getting ready to head to the Fresh Grass festival and melt faces and decimate audiences with our shredding, cutting and crushing riffs and furious blast beats…  wait.  Shit.  Sorry.  I’m listening to a lot of metal of late.  Current playlist on Spotify is the “New Metal Tracks” playlist. It is excellent, and there are plenty of gems to be found.

But let’s be real.  We’re a string band.  We will will have a jolly good time, get people smiling and dancing, encourage a bit of tomfoolery and beer-drinking, and hang out with our string-band buddies.  Not so much crushing or melting or decimating.  And that’s OK.  It’s fine.  I have no problems with that.

This tour has been pretty nutty – and I just wanted to share a bit of what we’ve been up to.

We flew into Nashville (which – by itself – already sounds pretty damn impressive.  We flew into NASHVILLE.  That’s where music things HAPPEN!  And we flew.  It conjures up images of Otis Redding touching down in the UK – or Zeppelin stepping off of their private jet to throngs of press and fans on the tarmac.  I like that conjured image, so I will do my best not to dispel it.  Try not to imagine 5 sleepy dudes in t-shirts and flip-flops on the airport pick-up curb trying to find a Red Roof Inn shuttle by a three person triangulation of smart-phone skills.)

Nashville was in the beginning throws of its American Fest.  Super fun.  The venue we played was so full of good music it was near ridiculous.  Three stages, 8 bands, all of them amazing.  We had to bail out super early because these Minivan Jetsetters had to catch an early flight to New York.

Yeah.  You heard me.  We flew to New York city, and we had some magazine interviews, did some videos, played some music in the subway.  We Jet Setted HARD. ( Imagine flashing lights, photographers scrabbling for their chance at a shot; skyscrapers reflected in our stylish sunglasses; the seas of taxi cabs parting as we, instruments in hand, strode boldly across 7th avenue.  Do your very best not to imagine hungover, sleepy and unshaven derelicts who – somehow – found guitars, banjos, etc, and – like a circus-clown-act – packed the 5 of themselves and a small mountain of gear and bags into a black Chrysler Pacifica Minivan.)

More importantly, we ate slices of pizza and drank espresso.

We rolled out that night to get a drop on the drive to Fresh Grass up here in Massachusetts.

And here we are.  The trees are just starting to turn their autumn colors – it’s a beautiful and bucolic preview of a part of the country we see too seldom.


The Coffee Report: May and June Edition.

It has been forever and a day since this blog was updated, and much, oh much much much has happened*.  

So much has happened that I’ll only be able to fill you in on the most important details.  Which is to say, the espresso details.

We got home from our midwest tour, and we took a week off.  When we’re home, I never have to worry about where the espresso comes from.  We Benedettis buy our beans from Hardcore coffee in Sebastopol, grind ‘em at home, and then brew them in a stove top espresso percolator, commonly known as a mucca pot.  Our pot is named Chester.  He’s a real trooper, let me tell you.  He brews some damn fine espresso.  It’s actually one of the things I look forward to most about being home.  That sweet, earnest little espresso pot, my friend, Chester.

We got back out on the road the next weekend.  Goodbye family, goodbye Chester.

We headed up north to Sisters and Yakima.  My coffee spot of choice in Sisters is Navigator News.  It’s connected to a bookstore, has groovy art, and delicious, dark espresso.  From there we hit Yakima for a shut-down-the-main-street-and-party festival.  I like those.  Especially when the main stage is kitty corner to North Town Coffehouse.  Good stuff, and the barista ran his own  music production and distribution company, Red Scare Media, with some very cool music on it.  I recommend checking it out if you’re into strange, compelling, noisy, rocking and underground sounds.

The next week we were on the road with The Devil Makes Three.  I can’t say enough good things about that band, their crew, how they live their musical lives, and the support and inspiration they’ve been to little BroCo here.  They’re champs in every way.  Also, Cooper is always reading cool books.  He offered some great recommendations.  Coffee for the weekend was supplied by Mia Cuppa Cafe, in Fresno, and Blackhorse Espresso in San Louis Obispo.  Solid and worthy stops, both of them.  Mia Cuppa has the bonus feature of shelves and shelves of used books for sale.  Books add a flavor of mystery, sophisticaton, and joy for me to any environment.  My dream home wouldn’t have walls – only bookshelves.

The next weekend the family and I rallied up to Benbow for the summer arts and music festival.  Damn good times.  We camped in the redwoods, made new friends, and the kids romped and stomped all over the place.  We had river time, circus time, camp time, it was glorious.  (Chester goes camping with us, by the way, so coffee was delicious – extra delicious, because camping makes everything taste ten times better.)

The next week we rallied to Tiny Telephone studios in San Francisco to start our next recordings.  It was so. damn. awesome.  John Vanderslice is producing, and I love the way he works, his recording ethos, and his aesthetic.  We made some good music… and had some good coffee.  Mission Pie has fantastic espresso.  Their food is good too, as was all the food that JV enthusiastically introduced us to during our too-brief stay. (John’s attention to music is second only to his attention to good food and coffee.)

The next weekend the family and I packed up and began an epic week on the road with the band.  It started with some sweet camping in Los Padres National Park.  Chester, sturdy, reliable Chester, was along for the ride, and providing great coffee at all hours.

The band met up with the family in San Diego.  We played a few dates opening for The Record Company – a consummate rock and roll band, and great guys to boot.  The coffee scene was on point.  Zebra House Coffee in San Clemente (our base of operations: Case de Zolg.  The greatest place on earth), and La Monarca Bakery in LA.  In between the Record Company dates we ran up to Live Oak Festival near Santa Barbara.  It was such a sweet, rootsy, good time.  Hot as all get out… but very sweet.  We camped, and Chester delivered.

The family headed back, and the band continued on.  We were headed for Phoenix, Arizona.  Our target was to play music on the hottest day on record in the hottest place in the country.  We had two days off to work on new tunes and rest up in LA before we headed for the raging inferno that every media outlet reported to us was Phoenix.  It was a  dark time for espresso.  Where we stayed – that bastion of hospitality and sweetness, the ancestral home of Ryan Avellone – is surrounded by Starbucks.   Two days of Starbucks espresso, and I was beginning to doubt everything, the world was void of meaning, colors were fading, hope was dwindling.  The only bright spot on the espresso horizon was the knowledge that we would be staying at a hotel in Phoenix for 2 nights, and I knew that they served espresso.  Joe looked it up.

The feeling I felt when, the next day, I walked up to said Phoenix Hotel cafe, and saw their cheery sign: “We Proudly Serve Starbucks Coffee”, was the same feeling that I had watching Star Wars Episodes 1-3: betrayal, despair, anger, and crushed expectations.

When you combine the two days of Starbucks in LA with two days of Starbucks after getting to Phoenix  – a combined 4 days of Starbucks – I was in severe withdrawal.  I was, as they say on the street, jonesin’.   Thank god for Flagstaff.  The town is surrounded with good espresso joints.  Firecreek Coffee Company was close the venue, and delicious.  I doubled  up my espresso order. It broke the curse of Starbucks.  I came back to life.

Quick side note to introduce this sweet post-show story from Flagstaff:  I have constant and chronic problems with my arms, hands and fingers from too much bass rocking.  At Flagstaff I was feeling it pretty strong,  and I was stretching a bunch on stage and shaking out my hands.  When I came off stage, there was the amazing Dr. Tiffany Johnson, Flagstaff Chiropractor and fan, and she adjusted my arm and hand.  And then, Sean from Hawaii came over, and he was a licensed massage therapist, and he worked on my back and shoulders.  Espresso, and then body work.  My game was fully back on, and Flagstaff endeared itself to my heart in a very serious way.

From Flagstaff we hustled to Albuquerque, where we played at an Aquarium.  The cafe had pretty bad espresso, but an amazing tank filled with sharks and turtles and stingrays, so it was still awesome.  We had a damn fine breakfast at Tia Betty Blue’s the next morning.  The espresso was tasty, and their food was spectacular.

From Albuquerque we headed to Evanston, WY.  We played their Bluegrass festival, and partied for Ben’s birthday.  Coffee was hit this morning on the way through SLC at Publik.  The espresso roast was lighter than I like.  I bet it would have been a delicious hot cappuccino type of espresso…  but if you just get a double shot with a touch of water, add some cream, and then don’t drink it for an hour and half (because you’re trying to sleep in the van because you only slept for 3 hours)…  it is lacking.  Probably not their fault, though.

And now we’re driving on the 80.  We just left Elko, so we’ll be back home by tonight… sometime.  Maybe one more coffee stop on the way in Reno.  I’ll let you know how it is next time.

Lots of other things happened during this last month, but I feel like I have represented the most important parts of that month.  The coffee parts.

There were some equally important parts that involved slices of pizza…  but other than that, i can’t imagine what you’d want to know.

*Much is a word that will quickly de-evolve itself as you say it, or write it.  Try it yourself at home!  It’s fun for the whole family!  Much much much much much much much much much…

Spring Tour – Part 5

Full disclosure – I am writing all of this many days after it has happened.  My recollection of all but the best espresso is dim and shaky and not to be trusted.  We are currently making the drive  from Omaha Nebraska to San Francisco.**

Last night, we drove 2 hours after the show to get us to Grand Island, NE (note: it is neither Grand, nor an Island)  where Tour Manager / Mr. Manager Henry got pulled over by deputy Wayne… and let off with but a warning.

This morning up at 8:30 to get Phil to an airport so he could fly home.  We, meanwhile, drive.  The upside is that we’ve had 2 nice espresso stops today.

One in North Plains, NE, and one in Laramie, WY.  Here’s the espresso machine at Cold Creek Coffee in Laramie.  A truly beautiful thing.  My dream android would be this, self-powered, on wheels, with the added capabilities of an R2 unit (i.e.- it would also help me fly my X-wing.)


But when our story left you all, we were breathing the sweet air of peace, and were sleeping in Troy, Illinois.  So that is where we shall pick up our tale.

We woke up in Troy, and headed to Evanston – a suburb of Chicago.  My heart and mind were filled with thoughts of deep dish pizza…  alas, dear reader, this was not to be.  Maybe next time, Chicago (pause to wipe the heavy, single tear from my eye).

The drive was not memorable, nor was the espresso.

Space, the venue in Evanston, is notable for its hospitality and fully-rigged recording / rehearsal studio attached to the venue.

When the show was over, we ripped some pretty tasty funk jams in said full-rigged studio… Funky, that is, for a bunch of suburban white kids.

We went to bed, and slept the long, weary, hard-won sleep of people who have been driving too much, sleeping too little, and finally are looking forward to a short drive day.

Where did we get espresso the next day?  Who knows.  It’s all a blur when it isn’t superb.

We drove to Madison, Wisconsin the next day… I think it was Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays.*

Madison was our second date playing with our new band-buddies, Trout Steak Revival.  They are awesome players and even more awesome people.  Some of the more cynical people of the world claim I only say this because they let me sit in with them playing electric guitar…  pshhh.  I mean, come on!  Pshhhh, I say again.  Harumph, and piffle, and the rest of it.

As I was saying, we were playing our second show with the wonderful Trout Steak Revival (who have excellent taste in guitar-players, as I believe we’ve mentioned) – and we were in Madison, Wisconsin – which, it turns out, is a beautiful, lovely, and very pleasant place to take a long walk for coffee and sunset-viewing.  I’ll gloss over the show this night… was it us, Madison?  Was it you?  Was there something you wanted that we couldn’t give you?  More bass solos, perhaps?  Whatever it was, we were like ships in the night.  If you get the Madison Weekly, when it comes out next Wednesday, you’ll see the personal add we posted after the show.  It’s posted under “Missed Connections.”

You – the audience in Madison, Wisconsin. Us – The Brothers Comatose.  Sorry we missed each other.  See you in the Fall.  We promise more bass solos.

We sacked out in a nearby motel which probably had a number associated with it… probably a 6 or an 8…  and it was another reasonable van call to get to St. Paul, Minnesota the next day.  Again, I have nothing to say about the espresso we had this day.  One of the doses came from a Whole Foods, which is always disappointing.  No local flavor or vibe when you’re at a massive, nation-wide chain.

The show was super fun.  The Minnesotans were bad ass, and they got rowdy with us, and it was a great party.

The venue – The Turf Club – had some kind of crazy Minnesota underworld connection, and through a series of phone calls, secret hand shakes and palmed bribes, we stayed at The Radisson.  You may notice that the name of that hotel didn’t have any numbers in it at all.  Or the words “rodeway, travel, econo, discout, budget,” or any such thing as part of their name.  A real, legitimate, hotel.
We had made it.

Not necessarily because we wanted to, but merely to do our duty according to the contracts we all signed when we sold our souls for Rock N Roll, we trashed the rooms.

I know that Ben and Alex left their beds completely unmade.  Kyle and I each used 2 towels for our respective showers, and dropped the wet, used towels right on the ground.  Ryan and Phil left their empty pretzel bag and apple core in the trash can in their room.  Henry threw the TV straight through his 11th story window, and scraped “BROCO FOREVER” into the bathroom mirror with his straight razor.

The last show of our short run with Trout Steak Revival took us to Iowa City, and The Yacht Club.  It was also prom night, and saturday night, and we were in the most college of college towns I could remember being in.

The show was a good rowdy time, but no where near the spectacle and experience that was the line for late-night pizza slices.  It was awesome.  If you ever fear for the future of America, just go get pizza at 1:30am in a college town on a Saturday, the weekend after finals.  You’ll come away knowning that everything is just the way it’s always been, and that we’re all just the same savage animals we’ve always been.  Our progress as a nation can be measured by the cultural diversity in the toppings.

We said our teary good-byes to our new Trout Steak buddies, promised to stay sweet, to never change, to have a great summer, and went our separate ways into the balmy mid-west night.

The last show of the tour was going to be in Omaha Nebraska.  We drove the drive.  We must have had espresso, because I am still alive and able to type this to you right now… but I don’t recall where it was…

Omaha Nebraska on a scattered-cloud, warm Spring Sunday afternoon was exquisite… and deserted.  I was taking photos of the sun-setting city scape in the middle of the main streets at 6 o’clock… with nary a car in sight.  I was wearing sunglasses with polarized lenses… and this is what my eyeballs were seeing:



Despite the ghost-town like emptyness of the city streets, we had some great and goodly folk roll out for the show.  We frolicked and sang songs and drank Nebraska beer, and ended the tour in warm and welcome company.

That night began our long and sleepy drive home… which brings us full circle to the beginning of this blog entry.

One more epic drive to go.

*This is not true – I’m great with Thursdays.  It’s Wednesdays and – mostly – Sunday afternoons that I struggle with.  But never pass up an opportunity to quote Douglas Adams – that’s what my writing teachers would have been wise to say… though they didn’t.  Mostly they said things like “This seems tossed off, and written last night in a blaze of procrastination-fueled inspiration.  Take your writing more seriously, try proof-reading once in a while, and sit up straight.”  They were very observant teachers.


**Editor’s note – we made it from Grand Island, NE to Elko, NV in one day.  18 hours in a van, over 1,000 miles.  Insanity.  We are all going mad.

Dear Diary – Spring Tour – Part 4

Dear Tour Diary,

shit shit shit shit shit shit.

We have another full week of touring, and things have gotten bad.  The tit for tat, eye-for-an-eye mentality of this band has turned mean.  Real, real mean.

I’ll try and catch you up, Tour Diary.

After a day of tense, never-let-your-guard-down driving, we slept at a Super 8 in Topeka. It was, for a Super 8, quite lovely.  We slept well.  Ryan – the only member of the band without a vendetta and score to settle – was in charge of the keys, and (despite my bribary attempts) he maintained the moral high ground and the evening was peaceful and uneventful.   We rose not too early, and headed out to find coffee and food.

It is worth noting, tour diary, that even in the midst of blood feuds and smoldering vengeance, there is an unassailable unity of purpose in our morning need for caffeine.  For the brief drive to the cafe, we were a band again, and there was peace.

The brief cease-fire was broken, as poor, sweet, neutral Ryan – our Switzerland – innocently sipped his morning coffee.  On sip, and then – PPPPHHHHHTHHHH – he spat it all over our surprised faces, and ran to the bathroom gagging.  In the uproar that followed, it was revealed that Ben, retaliating for the stolen bedroom (remember, tour diary?), had tried to spike Phil’s coffee with salt, mayonnaise and onions.  Phil, being on his guard, had done a Princess-Bride-Esque drink switch with Ryan (assuming his neutral status would give him relative safety in this passive-agressive touring guerrilla war).  We were noisily ejected from the cafe.  I barely managed to finish my espresso.

The drive from Topeka to Columbia, Missouri, was fraught with danger and bad vibes, tour journal.

I don’t think I’ve ever needed a second cup of coffee so badly as when our ship of ill-will landed at The Rose Music Hall that afternoon.

I raced, by myself, out the door, down the block seeking espresso, safety, and a friendly face.  Leaving my gear behind with my not-to-be-trusted band mates was, in hindsight, a mistake.  But the need for good espresso overrides all my better judgements, as you well know.

Tour Diary – if you ever find yourself in Columbia, Missouri, get thee to Fretboard Coffee.  It will make you happy; it will bring you great joy; the atmosphere and company will lift your spirts, and their deep, dark, lovingly roasted espresso will sooth your soul.

Conveniently, just upstairs from this espresso-slinging oasis was a comic book shop.

Just down the street was a used bookstore, where a book-loving, music-loving photographer/book-clerk and I chatted on the finer points of book-clerkery (as you know, tour journal, I too am a ~former~ bookstore clerk), comic addiction, and record collection.

I was in such a happy place as I walked jauntily back to the venue, the dark espresso still pumping strongly through my veins, holding my new books and comics close to my chest, that I was totally unprepared as two men in ski masks jumped me – darting out from behind alleyway dumpsters.

Thank goodness, tour diary, for all of those Kung Fu movies I watch.  In mere moments, one of the would-be thugs was running in fear back down the alley, and the other was crumpled before me, confessing all.  They had been hired, tour diary – HIRED – by Alex, still intent on his revenge.  (Never would I have thought pretzels to be so important to anyone…)

My espresso-sweet reverie was broken.

This was war.  I thought on my suitcase – my bass – my gear, all back in the van; back with those mean savages.

I ran.

When I got back to the venue, all hell had broken loose.

My bass was being doused with lighter fluid by Alex, while Ben and Phil and Ryan, each with a broken bottle in their cut and bleeding hands, were slowly circling one another in a deadly stand-off.  Henry and Kyle were tearing up each other’s suitcases, spilling them all over the road, screaming at each other all the while.

I had nary a moment to take this in.  My bass was in danger, tour diary.  I sprang into action.

I had just tackled the fire-wielding Alex, stopping his bass-inferno, when the police came.

The venue  had been observing our antics, and, wisely, had taken their own measures.

The police station of Columbia Missouri is spacious and accommodating, and the officers were rough, but polite.

Being locked in separate cells gave us all a chance to take a long, hard look at ourselves, and our petty grievances.  Apologies were hollered and accepted down the concrete halls of the jail.  The Rose Music Hall lobbied hard, and we were released in time to make our set.  Dani, my bookstore-clerk-friend, came by and took some pictures, and a great time was had by all.

The night was capped with $1.00 pizza slices, and a late-night drive to a Motel 6 in Troy, Illinois.  Today we head for Lou Malnotti’s pizza in Chicago.  Someone is claiming that we also have a gig to play in Evanston, but I say that they have their priorities severly backwards, tour diary.

It is raining.  The truce and reconciliation from the Columbia Jail still holds.

I have high hopes for the rest of this tour.

But I’m still not leaving my coffee anywhere near Phil.

Dear Diary – Spring Tour – Part 3

Dear Tour Diary,

It’s Gio.

We have been enjoying some fairly unheard of R&R mid-tour here at Antelope ranch in the gracious and kind care of Annabel and Lyric.  I’m typing outside, at a table enjoying my panoramic view of snow-capped mountains, sipping espresso, and the breeze is soft and cool.  The snow stopped yesterday (Sunday, if you forgot, tour diary) and the weather has been comical in its 180 degree flip from the ice and snow and cold of earlier days.

The show in Denver Saturday night was sold out, had delicious BBQ, and had the vibe of playing music in a hunting lodge from the 70s.  It was awesome.  The people of the crowd were delightful.

Sunday broke clear and sunny, and we made brunch at Annabel’s.  We feasted!


We had the entire day off, and our new friends, lead by Kelsy, invited us over for dinner.  We lounged, recuperated, read, wrote, climbed, ran, went to town for coffee – the usual indulgences of a day off on tour.

We were all headed to dinner, replete with wine, beer, and whiskey.  Henry graciously offered to drive.  We were all thankful, and imagined a band dynamic where bygones were bygones, affronts were forgiven and water babbled happily under bridges.

What naïveté, tour journal!

The dinner was lovely, the company was delightful, and the evening was great.  We thought only that Henry was being his usual Tour Manager self when he rallied us all out to the van to be driven home.  In our blurry haste, we never thought twice when Henry said we needed gas on the way back.

We were all happily buzzing away in the van, never suspecting a thing when Henry asked Alex for help – to run into the shop and grab a receipt.

Suspecting nothing, Kyle – our trusty sound engineer on this run – offered the already snoozing and snoring Alex to run inside in his stead.  As soon as the van door closed and Henry saw a dimly lit figure headed for the shop…. He peeled out, screaming the tires and van engine down the streets of Boulder, cackling madly of vengeance and justice.

It was a serious shock, tour journal.

It was also a very hectic and bouncy ride – so bouncy that Alex was jostled awake.  And he complained loudly from the backseat.  At the sound of Alex’s voice, Henry screamed, and slammed on the brakes.   The rest of us sprang into action.  I restrained Henry, Ryan restrained Alex, and Ben drove the van back to the gas station to pick up the now furiously angry Kyle.

Ben had to restrain Kyle, and there we were in a weird, 3 person stand-off.  We had to pay the 76 station attendant to drive us back to Antelope Ranch (where Phil was busy stealing Ben’s room, bed, and had locked himself into his pirated accommodations).

Ben nearly kicked down the locked door to his room when we got back, which was tricky, because then Kyle got loose.

It took a lot of beer to get everyone to finally go to sleep and forget – for the evening at least – their grievances.

This morning was another sunny and beautiful Colorado treat.

We spent most of our time trying to clean up after ourselves.  We then loaded up into the van and have been driving for the last 10 hours.  Our destination is the Super 8 in Topeka.

So far we’ve only been putting out small fires in the van.  New rules have been put in place.  We have to use a neutral buddy system anytime we leave the van (to ensure no one else gets left).  We also only give the keys to the driver after 2 different sources have confirmed that all band and crew are in the van.

Additionally, Phil and I are not allowed to throw anything away, and may only ask the newly formed garbage committee to throw things away for us.

There have been several near disasters.  Phil’s fiddle was found placed dangerously behind the rear tires of the van at one stop.  I still think Alex tripped me on the way into the dinner stop restaurant – he claims I didn’t see a bump in the sidewalk.

The plots are still forming – no one is safe, tour journal.  I’m afraid for the long days ahead.

Dear Diary – Spring Tour – Part 2

Dear Diary –

It’s Gio again.

It’s Saturday, April 29th, and – yeah, you guessed it.  It’s still snowing.

What gives, Colorado?

Yesterday we got to Boulder in the early afternoon and had ourselves a very lovely time playing music for beer lovers at the Boulder Theater.  Everything was going so well – I got a nap in, found some delicious espresso from a local establishment.  I even thought my revenge on Phil for his dastardly coffee-tossing-out had been exacted, and I could turn the page towards more sunny, hopeful and friendly days.

Not so, Tour Diary!  Not so!

It turns out that the pretzels I threw out were not, in fact, Phil’s.  They were Alex’s.  And he had been fasting all day, with the hopeful security of his pretzels awaiting him to provide the sustenance he’d need for the show that night.
Imagine his groggy fury at their loss.  Then imagine it again, but with more swear words, and throwing things.  That’s closer to what happened.

Sadly (or not?  Depends on how you view these kinds of things, tour diary) the only thing that was in ready supply at the theater was craft beer.  The strong kind.  Alex’s fury quickly turned to somewhat sloppy bonhomie after a few well-placed pints.

The set was delightfully hard to remember.  I believe we played music?  Hard to tell, tour diary.  We could turn to those in attendance for a report of the evening, but I don’t think they will remember any more clearly.  This is to be expected for a beer fest, yes?

That night – and for the nights to follow our good friend Annabel has offered to put us all up in her amazing home.  There is a drum set here, electric instruments, a Rhodes…  Everything we need to record our rock record.  Dreams can really come true, tour diary!!

We poured ourselves into beds last night, and got good rest – well, all except poor Henry, (our tour manager for this run).

Drunkenly mistaking Henry’s bed for mine, Alex – in a rare show of mean vengeance – dumped a heaping shovel-full of snow on Henry’s peacefully slumbering head.

We all awoke to the scuffle/wrestling match/weeping that followed.

Tempers have finally settled… but the tension around the lunch table was thick today, once we had all woken and assembled.  Trust is running a bit low, and us only 4 days into the tour.

We play Denver tonight.  Alex, Phil and I are all constantly looking over our shoulders.  Henry still smolders with sleepy, rage-ful injustice.

I’m sure this will all be cleared up soon, tour diary.